So, what I’m saying is, should I find myself dying in a fiery plane crash, I figured I’d write a Last Will and Testament. One written on a blog should definitely hold up in any sort of legal matter, especially when I’m dealing with internetty and fake things, right?

To Tammi Jean, I leave my many thousand tweets. It is because of you I’m at that website in the first place, clogging the feeds of strangers everywhere with my incessant cat- and fart-talk.

To Ashley, I leave you any Backstreet Boys (and other random, tweenaged pop acts from the 1990s) memorabilia I might have stashed away somewhere. New Kids on the Block, too. I have some buttons and stuff.

To Jack and Agnes, I leave you all of the tape and Q-tips I own. I know how much you like chewing on those things, respectively, and now I won’t be there to verbally and psychologically abuse you when you do.

To Sandy Bear, take my car and my acceptance to The New School and live for me! Become a real, little bear!

Okay, I’m done. This wasn’t funny and I’m still scared! :(

Rollercoasters are scary and make me lose my voice. Something something, I’m going to Georgia this Friday and Tennessee this weekend and then back to Georgia for next week with Janaí-Chanelle. Chicago and Lollapalooza and licking the Second City building with my gross, dry tongue. Funemployment, school, eep! Pizza and a chocolate milkshake. The end.

I Make Monsters, steffbomb.com

I decide that I will be attending The New School in New York City this upcoming school year, but now must find $15,301 or a very, very cheap place to stay in or aroundish Greenwich Village (or, you know, Brooklyn, Queens, etc.) or will begrudgingly commute to classes.

I talk with much enthusiasm about how I celebrated Father’s Day (seriously, I had a lot more fun than my monotone suggests).

I burp and then blow the burp out of the side of my mouth.

And other awesome things.

On the next episode of Hoarders.

Alright, so, listen. Not only did I drive to and from Massachusetts and then to North Jersey and back this weekend (what up, New Jersey Turnpike! How you livin’, boo?), I’m also still completely infatuated with The Futureheads this week (and the city of Berlin, for that matter). So, although I was in the presence of The Backstreet Boys last night (oh, hey, Nick Carter), I still can’t really crown a new Crush this week. I just don’t feel right about it.

But another reason this Crushing is difficult to do, might be because it’s an anniversary of sorts with a man I wouldn’t have a Crush on, per se, but who totally fucking rules and I’d gladly let him adopt me as a niece, or something? Can people do that? I’ll look into it. Anyway, this evening, I’ll be attending Silver Diner Night, in support of my friend’s support for her church. I’m no churchgoer, but I do really enjoy food, especially of the diner variety (hi, I’m from New Jersey, nice to meet you); and, you know, charity! Or good deeds! Nice stuff!

Okay, and an hour later I get to the moral of this whole thing. Last year’s Silver Diner Night was the same day I worked up my courage to direct message screenwriter Dave Finkel (he’d surprisingly followed me back on Twitter a month or so before that, which had already sent me into a wild case of the happies). I believe my first message was to not find the message after that to be creepy, and I attached along my email address. The second message was about how badly I wanted to be a screenwriter and I’d hoped he had a minute to give me the poop on the whole “getting into it” thing. I checked my email and Twitter, relentlessly, after, hoping he didn’t immediately “un-follow” me and tell his buddy, Diablo Cody, that he met an insane girl online, or something.

Well, you know what? He fucking emailed me (and with the subject line “Creepy”, of course). Not only that, but he emailed me that he was going to email me back, but had to write a script first, but wanted to assure me that he wasn’t ignoring my frantic plea for help. Then, he emailed me with loads of advice, and we kept up a pretty sweet email chain for a while about the ins and outs of screenwriting, and his life story (he’s written for 30 Rock and Animaniacs, and currently writes for United States of Tara; he also interned at Jim Henson’s Creature Shop and (of course) attended NYU – this guy and his awesome life! (I would, literally, kill him for it)). He’s got a wife, two kids, and a job, so I’ve tried not to bother him too much with my incessant nagging and questions, and I’m still sad I missed out on a chance to meet up with him during my trip to Los Angeles this past November (because I was too chicken to email-remind him), but yeah. He still rules and I’m like a little kid with my excitement over it being a year since we became pseudo-e-friends-or-something.

I don’t even know what this post is, or if there really is a point. It isn’t meant to be at all braggy, or anything, I swear! I just got really psyched when I remembered that fateful Creepy emailing fell on the same day as Silver Diner Night. Also, maybe now that I realize it’s been a year since I begged this person for screenwriting advice, I’ll fucking get my writing act together. Reminiscing isn’t doing shit for getting me a job as the next Tina Fey!

Did I mention that he’s also won two Emmys? Fuck that guy.

(I didn’t want to creep into his Facebook for pictures of him, especially since lots of them also involve his kids and that’d be weird of me to post pictures of his kids online (because it’s totally not weird at all that I remember the first day-ish he emailed me), so I put one of me instead. I love me. Also, he and I share a birthday, so, we’re like the same person anyway.)

Click any image for its larger version, though, none are quite large enough to look as good as they do in real life (I swear they don’t look this awful).

business card (left is the back, right is the front – no need to click this one, though, as it is already at its largest)

cover, flier

small ad, stationary

mailer (front, back)

newsletter (front)

newsletter (back)

brochure (inside – yuck at that picture!)

brochure (outside)

Schön Geburtstag für mich!

BDAYMIX!(<- download some sweet tunes, buddies)

01. Brigitte Bardot, “Moi Je Joue”
02. Queen, “Dreamer’s Ball”
03. New Kids on the Block, “Cover Girl”
04. The Shangri-Las, “Give Him a Great Big Kiss”
05. The Brunettes, “Pink Ribbons”
06. Lucky Soul, “Whoa Billy!”
07. The Like, “Release Me”
08. Scarlett Johansson, “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up”
09. George Harrison, “Got My Mind Set On You”
10. The Runaways, “Neon Angels On the Road to Ruin”
11. Be Your Own Pet, “Girls on TV”
12. David Bowie, “Cat People (Putting Out the Fire)”
13. Benjy Ferree, “When You’re 16″
14. Backstreet Boys, “That’s What She Said”
15. Living Sisters, “Ferris Wheel”
16. She & Him, “If You Can’t Sleep”
(bonus track!)

Well, anyway, I went on a solo Philadelphia Zoo trip the other day (week?, I have no sense of time), and it was a lot of fun. I went through the Big Cat Falls twice in a row (I love cats, in case you were unaware), had a lunch of some kind (I’m completely blanking on what I ate, aside from fronch fries), and bought myself a stuffy tiger (named Chahles – like Charles, but with a British accent). It was loads of fun, despite that time a little boy smacked me in my purse for no reason. There was this few minutes I crouched down in front of the lioness’ case (I call it this because thick glass separated us) and these children next to me were sneaking peaks at the pictures I took and asking me what type the cats were, and the one boy was leaning on me and standing on tip-toes to get a better look at the big kitties. It was pretty nice. It’d totes bathe in SPF 70 and do it again.

Name: Janaí-Chanelle Majett
Occupation: Currently works in a salon, but will be big time one day!
Status: In the most adorable relationship on planet earth with the formerly-bearded Steven
Most known for: the cutesy adventures she takes with her boyfriend and the beautiful wordage she puts with it on LiveJournal
Recently known for: being the best email buddy I’ve ever had, making me feel like one million bucks with every sentence she writes
Up next: finally meeting me!!!!!!! this summer – it’s going to happen
Why you crushin’?: like I said, she’s the best email buddy around. I forget who added whom first on LiveJournal, or how long ago that even was; it feels as though we’ve been friends for years upon years, though, and I love that. We slowly bonded over just liking the same near-generic things, then realized we’ve both been in love with Ronnie Spector for ages. Now we gush over girl groups, the sixties, New Kids on the Block, Spice World, The Baby-Sitters Club, and all things cute. And then, we had an hours-long text-chat last Friday that officially put me over the moon about her. We began initial plans for a visit to Georgia (by me), and I really can’t wait for that to happen!