Ooh, I know! Upon arriving in Georgia (well, a few hours later), I had the chance to meet one of Janaí-Chanelle’s best friends. Her name is Lindsey and we were bedmates while the four of us (the two girls I just mentioned, me, and J-C’s boyfriend, Steven) tripped to Tennessee. I had the opportunity to get to know her and, because Twitter is my muse, I started a trending topic (that only ever trended on my own feed) about what I learned about being a redhead. It was called #TILARBSLOTWAR: Things I Learned About Redheads By Spending Lots Of Time With Another Redhead. So, uh, I guess I’ll just post those things?

We do not make decisions.

Even after we’ve been awake for lots of hours, our eyes remain half-closed and our faces look like pillows.

We roll up straw wrappers and put them into our purses in lieu of finding a trash can in which to throw them away.

The few times we say the word “confetti,” we say it at the same time.

Old men named Virgil who operate swing rides like to tell us how much they enjoy our hair color.

That was fairly anticlimactic. I’m gonna go.

Anyway, we went to Dollywood earlier in the week! Saturday to Tuesday, I think? I have no sense of time right now. Maybe we were in Tennessee from Saturday to Tuesday, but we went to Dollywood on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. This post is totes poop because I’m half-writing this and half-grooving like heck to Leslie Gore, okay? Also, Marvin Gaye was the handsomest man alive.

Dollywood pictures – GO!

Oh, hey! It’s Janaí-Chanelle, Lindsey, and Steven! But the backs of them!


Gross!

Cute!



I took that picture because I am awesome at any basketball game, aside from the game of basketball.

Janaí-Chanelle and Steven. Aww.

And for your nightmares later:

(more pictures, if you please)

So, what I’m saying is, should I find myself dying in a fiery plane crash, I figured I’d write a Last Will and Testament. One written on a blog should definitely hold up in any sort of legal matter, especially when I’m dealing with internetty and fake things, right?

To Tammi Jean, I leave my many thousand tweets. It is because of you I’m at that website in the first place, clogging the feeds of strangers everywhere with my incessant cat- and fart-talk.

To Ashley, I leave you any Backstreet Boys (and other random, tweenaged pop acts from the 1990s) memorabilia I might have stashed away somewhere. New Kids on the Block, too. I have some buttons and stuff.

To Jack and Agnes, I leave you all of the tape and Q-tips I own. I know how much you like chewing on those things, respectively, and now I won’t be there to verbally and psychologically abuse you when you do.

To Sandy Bear, take my car and my acceptance to The New School and live for me! Become a real, little bear!

Okay, I’m done. This wasn’t funny and I’m still scared! :(

Rollercoasters are scary and make me lose my voice. Something something, I’m going to Georgia this Friday and Tennessee this weekend and then back to Georgia for next week with Janaí-Chanelle. Chicago and Lollapalooza and licking the Second City building with my gross, dry tongue. Funemployment, school, eep! Pizza and a chocolate milkshake. The end.

(artist’s rendering)

Name: Christopher Jonathan James Nolan’s brain
Occupation: Master of writer/director Christopher Nolan’s skull
Status: Well, married to Christopher’s long-time producer, Emma Thomas’s brain, I suppose
Most known for: thinking up and making movie-real a few of the most amazing pieces of film on planet fucking earth; you know, like, Memento, Batman Begins, and The Dark Knight, for instance
Recently known for: INCEPTION, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Up next: the next Batman movie, and maybe even a Superman movie – What!
Why you crushin’?: I think I said enough about Inception. On top of that, this brain has thought up those previous films I mentioned, which I’ve also said lots about before. Just, I fucking love this dude’s brain, okay? Here:

So, I went to TGIFriday’s beforehand to food. I only went to this particular place because it’s located in the same parking lot as the movie theatre; I mean, fuck. They had a DJ “spinning sweet tracks” in there. Totally not a place I frequent. I had some lemonade and fried string beans and mashed potatoes (because I’m five), and then walked over to the theatre. It wasn’t as insane as the midnight Toy Story 3 experience, but the characters (watching the movie, not the ones in the movie!) were just as annoying. I digress.

I pop in a No-Doz (and almost fucking choke on it, for real) and get ready for my mind to disintegrate. The trailers beforehand were all kinds of “meh,” but the lot of us super-enjoyed the preview for M. Night Shamalamadingdong (okay, M. Night Shyamalan’s) Devil. And by “super-enjoyed,” I mean that we all sat in silence during the trailer and then erupted into a chorus of groans once his name popped up onto the screen. Then we laughed at ourselves because we’re awful people.

Alright, movie starts: ten minutes in, I’m already, practically, looking around me with my hands up like, “What is going on, am I right, people?” Well, I mean, listen; I’m totally a smart person (despite the conversational way I write and ironic usage of “totes” and the like). I completely understood everything that was happening, but sometimes you just have to be like, “What!,” you know? Because what you’re seeing – in this movie – is something your brain has probably never even imagined. How Christopher Nolan’s head isn’t oozing brains right now is a mystery I’ll never solve. We all dream. We all (maybe) wonder what it’d be like to travel into someone else’s dreams and thoughts, but this movie just brings it to levels of dream and reality and story that you can’t even begin to think of. And I think, probably, more than any other living human. As I’m typing this, I’m also thinking of a number of other things. My brain never stops, which is why I tend to accidentally sleep in shifts. I trail off mid-sentence, or run through several tangents of story. Sometimes I lose my breath because all of my thoughts fever pitch and eventually, like, explode inside of my mind.

And that is exactly how this film will make you feel. Like you’re a fucking lunatic. Because I’m a lunatic. Yes, you’ve been reading the ramblings of an insane person this whole time! Obviously! But, for real. I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by saying that this movie brought to fruition my sometimes wonder about whether or not this is reality. (That sentence was stupid.) I mean, totally, I know that I’m in real life right now, but yeah. I’m just saying… things. I don’t know, dude. I’m, like, wide awake and exhausted at the same time right now. Here are a bunch of stills, I guess (no spoils abound, promise!):

Pictures stoled from here, y’all.

Wait, hold on. Can we just talk about how every single piece of human in this film was uh-buh-banging? Because, yes.

Name: Cillian Murphy
Occupation: Film and theatre actor, Irishman
Status: Married to visual artist (pft), Yvonne McGuinness, with whom he has two children (the sighest of sighs)
Most known for: playing the villainous Scarecrow in Batman Begins (and for a second in The Dark Knight) and a creeper trying to kill my precious Rachel McAdams in Red Eye
First known for: heroing it up in that movie I definitely watched, but can’t remember, 28 Days Later
Up next: INCEPTION, STARRING, LIKE, EVERYONEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (can’t wait, obviously); also, that Sienna Miller movie, Hippie Hippie Shake, will be out at some point (I guess?) and filming on At Swim-Two-Birds (with Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Collin Farrell, and Brendan Gleeson) begins in September
Why you crushin’?: alright, so, check it. The first time I saw this dude was, just, at press stuff. Like, pictures of that press stuff online. I didn’t think much of him (and was actually pretty frightened by the intensity of his eyes – though, nothing can compare to this dude’s (why so like that, bro?)), and I didn’t bother seeing his films (I just wasn’t interested in girls with pearl earrings, okay?). Well, then my nerd self excitedly midnight-madnessed up Batman Begins and I found myself, “oh, hey!”ing the screen whenever this magnificent creature came upon it. Though he cameod in The Dark Knight, I still kind of forgot about him until the other day when I watched this video (I’m not sure why that other guy is petting his own knee for three straight minutes, but I digress). Now, as you may have guessed, he plays American a lot. I knew he wasn’t American, but I’d never heard him talk in interviews, or anything, so I wasn’t prepared for my body to convulse with pleasure upon hearing his normal speaking voice for the first time in my existence. I mean, I totally, eventually watched 28 Days Later, but I think I fell asleep and, as I’ve said, I don’t remember it, so forgive my late-to-the-Irish-accent-ness. I’m just saying – dag. He barely even talks in that interview, but it still made me feel this way: